Doofus Dips

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Dear reader,

Just got done with a “callus cracking”, winter sweat inducing, blubber killing, STRESS busting, heck of a workout, and now I’ve got something to say.

A lot, in fact,  it seems. The sun’s out today for a change here in Southern China, and with it it seems to have brought out a barrage of doofuses as well.

So there I was, doing pull-ups slow, strict style out there at my old haunt in the park. This after getting through a bit of 0 Excuses Fitness – but for whatever reason, I felt the need to do more today, so off I went to the park.

As I was doing my  pull-ups I noticed a chickie right next to me desperately trying to get me to “ask her for a selfie”. Preening, posing, and the entire shebang – you get the picture, I’m sure – and the only response she got was moving away to another area.

This didn’t seem to bother her though, as she walked right up to that area and quite literally stuck her iPhone in my nose (or damn close to it) – and at that point she was not-so-sweetly told to – ah, but again, I believe you get the point, hehe.

Ugggggggh. If there’s one thing I don’t like about where I’m currently at, it’s the fact that a lot of people in China seem to take the obsession with smartphones to a whole another level altogether.

Now, lest you think I’m bagging on China here, think again. In fact, think several times – I’m NOT.

The entire world seems to have become smartphone/selfie-obessed (and NOT in a good way) – but yes, modern day China seems to take it to a whole another level altogether and I’m merely pointing out a fact – and anyone that’s spent any time in mainland China will attest to this as well.

And while I’m not quite at the “old man in Rocky” levels a.k.a “get yo chicken asses out of here! Don’t disturb me during training!”, I’m pretty close at times.

But that isn’t the point of this “doofus” post. The main doofus is yet to show up, folks.

Actually, he didn’t need to show up. He was already there – doing his version of the “primp and preen” minus the gym.

He’s one of these guys I see often in the park – skinny as heck, and looks sort of like Eiffel Tower about to keel over when he (attempts to) stand in a wrestler’s stance with legs spread apart.

But oh boy, the workouts he does – or should I say the “vocal chord” workout, hehe.

He was in the middle of warming up apparently when I arrived.

Arms flailing all over the place – so quickly and so out of control that it would seem he was trying to rip them right out of his shoulder sockets. In fact, the speed with which he was doing it would put a Dutch windmill to shame, and I ain’t kidding either.

And then up he LEAPS on to the dipping bars.


The roar he emitted while desperately trying to hold himself (while looking all around to see who he was impressing via his grunts) would sound like he slayed a lion with his bare hands, my friend.

Took about a sec or so before he came “crashing back down to the bars”, and I turned back to my pull-ups.

Only to be rudely interrupted by yet another sub-Saharan level ROAR – sort of like an enraged mother bull as he “dipped” about a quarter of a quarter of (not kidding) an inch on the dipping bars.

But he didn’t “dip”. He “swung down” and back up – like an upside down grandfather clock pendulum if that makes any sense!

And after about 5 reps of this, he threw his legs up on the bars and literally lay there “panting” as if he had just run a marathon.

Now, I’m normally in a “Zen like” trance like state when I’m training outdoors so the usual foolishness doesn’t really impact me, but what he did next had even me busting out laughing.

I  mean, I couldn’t help it, my friend. I literally couldn’t – as this dude sat up.

Legs still on the bars. Arms firmly clutching the bars – and then?

He dipped – but dipped his backside about an inch or so “towards terra firm”, and “pushed” back up – and there is a good reason I use quotes here!

And it was about at that point when I busted out laughing and of course that got me several glares from our “bull strength like” doofus.

Mea culpa, I managed to blurt out before returning to my pull-ups.

He glowered at me when I said this.

Uh oh. I seem to have made an enemy for life!

And as I finished my fifth set of pull-ups, I turned around, and the glower was gone.

It was replaced by an “eyes wide open” sheepish look – no doubt at the pull-ups done STRICT style.

That lasted about a minute or so before the “primping and preening” took over again, and off he bounded into the yonder, much like a startled rabbit would.

Now, laugh all you  like, my friend, but this is but ONE example of the foolishness I see when training – ALL OVER THE WORLD.

I’ve written about the nutter doing his version of pull-ups in the park in the book about pull-ups and (I believe) the 0 Excuses book as well, but I might just have to do a re-write of the latter, if just to include what I said today!

Now – last, but not least – dips are a great exercise, but only a) if you do ’em right and b) if your shoulders are up for it.

They are NOT for everyone, and folks with shoulders injuries are better off avoiding them – unless you do them in STRICT style. Believe me here – I’ve been there, and done that – and KNOW what I’m talking about when I say this.

Done correctly though, they are one of the keys I mention in Shoulders like Boulders – the superlative course that WILL build amazing, superhuman levels of strength – but only if you’re up for it, my friend.

Only if you’re up for it!

Primpers, preeners, and “mirror watchers” are NOT allowed. Smartphones aren’t either (unless you buy the course on a smartphone, but only after that). Lookie lous not welcome either – and neither are “fence sitters” and those that “aren’t sure”.

No, I only want those that are SERIOUS about this to buy the course my friend, and if you’re part of the select few that are SERIOUS about building world class, old timers like strength – and shoulders like BOULDERS to boot, well, I’m here for ya.

Get the pair of shoulders you’ve always wanted, my friend. It’s within grasp right HERE –



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