As I was doing my dips today – at the end of my workout, mind you – NOT as the mainstay of my workout (I’ll get into that later), I had to ‘bypass’ a portly gentleman perched like a well fed ostrich on top of the dipping bars.
As I made my way past him, I heard that all too familiar sound.
Burp … and I don’t mean burpees either, hehe. I’m talking “flatulence” here – big time – except it was expelled through the front cavity as opposed to the rear.
And it wasn’t a silent burp either. It was a loud roar almost akin to a gas explosion, and for a second I was startled before it struck me, and after I gave the dude the once over all was clear.
“Portly” is puttting it politely here. “El corpulento” is probably a better descriptor. Or perhaps a human version of several hippopotamuses rolled into ONE gigantic tub of blubbery life and truth be told, looking at his belly, it would be a safe bet to say that he might well have had twin hippos gestating in them.
Anyway, I finished a set of 10 dips, and walked over to the monkey bars to stretch out, where the gentleman showed up again.
He tried in vain to hang on once.
He tried again.
Then he moved on to his original perch on the dipping bars, and attempted a sit up, but came up about a few cms before slamming back down into the bars.
I’m telling ya, this guy probably had enough “natural gas” to power all the city buses of New Delhi, and that’s NOT an exaggeration either, hehe.
Anyway, I moved on to do some pull-ups, and heard him talking to a few other equally obese people, all apparently commiserating as it were. Misery loves company, doesn’t it?
“Kal Raat ko jyada kha liya. Late Khaya” (I ate too much last night. Ate late as well).
Looking at him, it would be a fair bet to say that he overeats – and eats late at about EVERY meal, but whatever …
Anyway, ’twas so hilarious that I thought I’d share it with you. I call it the “burp a rep” workout – a workout that if nothing else at least serves to “jog” some of the flatulence in a system that likely hasn’t seen a decent cleansing for decades, if not more.
And as I cast my eyes around the park, I saw a couple of guys that obviously go to the gym come in, preening, pumping and posing – and I was reminded of a comment I saw on Facebook made by a gym junkie no less.
It was along the lines of his/her personal trainer not being able to get his /her body fat percentage down to acceptable levels – and burps included or not, THAT is the primary reason I’m telling you what I am today, my friend.
My own workout today was a 30 minute workout – the bulk of that being active recovery and REST.
You could probably call this working out like a tiger. Or any of the big cats. Or a grizzly, for that matter.
I cover this type of workout extensively in Advanced Hill Training (and note – you don’t need a hill for most of the routines either – all of this can be done just as well on flat land) -but for now – what does the tiger – or any of the big cats – do in the wild?
They stretch. They bask in the sun for ages. They prowl around their territories.
All of the above – and when it’s time to catch prey?
They stalk – and then – BAM! All of a sudden that thing pounces on it’s unwary prey, and though the prey is lightning quick, Mr. Tiger for one is no slouch, and it doesn’t take him long at all to work up to a full sprint either.
Needless to say, Mr. Tiger doesn’t sprint like this daily – or all day long for that matter.
Mr. Leopard doesn’t “pound the savannah” looking to get his heart rate in the “fat burning zone”, does he?
No – these cats rest the vast majority of the time – but that ONE hard sprint done full bore, full intensity is ENOUGH to keep them in the sort of shape they are renowned to be in – and indeed ARE in.
Most personal trainers scoff at this type of training, preferring indeed the airconditioned environs of the chrome and fern palaces.
Most PT’s would scoff at the very idea of pull-ups making you stronger – they’d tell you to go load more plates on the lat pulldown (a virtually USELESS piece of equipment BTW as I wrote to you yesterday).
And when it comes to getting shredded – ripped – cut – what have you – most PT’s have no clue on how to get there – and FAST.
I do though, my friend – and what’s more – these sort of routines won’t just get you in shape fast.
They’ll also make you feel like a trillion bucks. They’ll get the job done – and quickly. They’ll make you sleep like the proverbial LOG at night.
And yes, they’ll eliminate any and all digestive issues you’ve been having. No more “burp a reps”as it were, hehe – and believe it or not, just a minute or so of this is enough to “shake things up inside” and “keep you regular” – BIG time.
The benefits are manifold, my friend. Manifold. So many that I could literally write a whole book on them and still have more on them to recount.
Wait a minute – I’ve done that already, haven’t I? Hehe …
Without further ado then, grab yer copy of Advanced Hill Training right HERE, my friend. It is, quite literally, without exception, the best fitness investment you’ll make in your life!