Stop playing the “victim” card

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Dear Reader,

Today’s post is going to be another one of those ultra-controversial ones – but it’s something that needs to be said, so buckle up – and listen up.

Way too many people these days (and perhaps “back in the day” as well to a degree, but especially these days) play the “victim” card and try to make excuses of all sorts for not having achieved whatever it is they want in life – or fitness – or relationships – or anything in general for that matter.

This attitude seems to be particularly prevalent when it comes to fitness, although life and the other categories I mentioned aren’t by any means an exception to this rule.

In terms of fitness, you’ve got the “I’m a naturally big guy! I’ll never be able to do pull-ups” folks complaining galore while they stare on “wistfully” at the lean guy out there DOING pull-ups.

Little do they know that in many cases, Nature has under-blessed – rather than “blessed” the little guy (or the lean guy) with FAR LESS favorably genetics than those who complain about “being big” or “putting on weight too easily” – or thus forth.

Or, you may have the “I couldn’t do so and so in life because …. <insert term of choice>” folks out there – who make every excuse under the sun for not having got to whatever goal it is that they set for themselves.

And most of the time, people that complain incessantly and piss and moan about everything under the sun are looking for one thing – “sympathy” – and passing negative vibes along galore.

And again, we see this happening in life – relationships where it’s “always and always the other partner’s fault regardless” – race issues (especially in the U.S.) – and of course – fitness in general.

Dr. Maltz makes an excellent point  in his book Psycho Cybernetics when he says that although we might not (and indeed cannot) control many of the CIRCUMSTANCES that occurred to us in the past, ultimately at the end of the day it is WE that decide if we sink – or swim – or fly, for that matter.

That isn’t a verbatim quote, but it gets the point across pretty well.

You may have been born into an impoverished background, for instance, but at the end of the day that isn’t an excuse for not having achieved the success you wanted in biz in your adult life.

You couldn’t control the circumstances – but you CAN control the way you think and FEEL – and that, my friend is the crux of the entire matter.

Playing the victim card or adopting the “it’s not my fault” philosophy in life is nothing but a dive into a cesspool of negativity – and a black hole in terms of future achievement.

When I was overweight – way overweight, it would have been easy for me to sit back and blame my crappy genetics – or the wonderful food my wife dished up on a regular basis – or the fact that I “didn’t have a hill close to me” (at certain points in my life I didn’t) – or make other excuses galore.

When I started my business, and went through tough times, it would have been easy for me to say “hey, it’s happening because of so – so”. Because I have other responsibilities. Because Mercury seems to be perennially in retrograde (not really, hehe).

And so forth.

Guess what though – I didn’t, and still don’t.

At the end of the day it is YOU, my friend that is responsible for your own life – and your success – or failure – in any field you choose.

Now, let me end this with a caveat – that yes, there are SOME situations (or perhaps many in your case) that are NOT of your own making.

Let’s take a partnership, or a relationship, or a joint investment, for instance, gone awry. Both partners were equal “shareholders” in this – and entered into the relationship (choose from the above choices) as adults with FULL knowledge of what they were getting into.

Yet, time and again we see that when for whatever reason these partnerships don’t work out – the blame game starts full force – and its usually the person doing the blaming that isn’t doing a lick of constructive work to actually RESOLVE the situation.

If anything, it’s the opposite.

And so yes, if you’re trying to get away from a situation like that – true, you might not have control over it, so it’s not your “fault” in that case – but you still get to take RESPONSIBILITY for your own life – or fitness – or lack thereof – regardless!

I don’t much like the term “fault”, by the way. By default it implies the words “right” or “wrong” depending upon how you look at it – both words that influence our subconscious minds at a deep, deep level, and make it harder to truly forget the past.

If you made a mistake – acknowledge it – take responsibility – and MOVE on. End of story, despite how anyone else might try to spin it!

The key word there is responsibility – and the bottom line is this – YOU have to take care of yourself first, my friend. It is only after that you can take care of others – or help others in need – and the BEST way to start doing that is to ditch the victim mentality forever.

Rise up, as they say!

Ok, so thats it for today. If you haven’t yet taken responsibility for being overweight – or suffering from interminable back pain – or not  being able to achieve your fitness (or life) goals – or just being lazy in general  – then TODAY is the day to do so, my friend.

Do so – and do so with feeling – you’ll never regret it!


Rahul Mookerjee

P.S. – Plenty more such “timeless” motivational tips are mentioned in Gumption Galore which is a collection of my 50 most read and liked motivational tips out there. I’m constantly adding to those, of course – but for now, that book right there is a must read if you’re looking to improve yourself in any way, shape or form. Here is where you can grab it –

P.S. #2 – We recently revamped our products page to make it easier to browse – let me know how you like the “new look”!

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