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Bozo Schofield, i know you’re anxiously hanging on for every little tidbit from me (ugh) – but that said (another ugh) – no, this ain’t the “nose in pants” you so like. Yet another ugh. OK, we’re past that now!

But anyway I believed I mentioned “Believe that, you’ll believe anything” that great James Hadley Chase book in an email or so prior to this.

There have been so many as of late even I’m losing track!

But thats all good. I didnt send that many last year, so I’m making up for lost time!

But anyway, not really nah – not making up for anything – it’s just “in the flow” as it were, but the hero’s name in that book (a snively Bozo like guy) was “Clay Burden”.

He had a bitchy wife that complained about everything and anything, did no housework, and put her feet up after work claiming “working at the salon meant she had to stand all day so her feet hurt”.

No doubt a foot fetishist’s delight, but Burden wasn’t one of them.

Mopey Bozo Burden, truly a burden on the PLANET at the point – well until “Val” took him over with her lovely WILES – was moping about his lost love – who was – well “Val”.

Slinky and cunning, sexy and wiley …

My sort of gal to match wits with, hehe.

And I can promise I’d win! 😉

And then the villain of the piece a massive SHORT and stocky GORILLA … I can’t remember his name. They called him “tiny” in jest, but he was anything but “sideways”.

I remember Marc the African Silverback Gorilla jesting about ESL and the bozos that do it, and when I was ranting about the inherent racism in that so calle djob.

“You’re probably a better teacher than me”, he went. “I dont know!”

“But I’m thicker than you! Thats how it works here, BROOOOOO!”

SO SAGE! Marc was the best, hehe.

(the Chinese …well, enough said. Hehe)

Well, anyway, so where was I.

Clay.

And burden.

And back in the day, yours truly in 7th grade signed up for an idiotic “Clay Modeling” class as part of “SUPW” class.

“Socially Useful Productive Work” it was called.

Of course, that name itself meant the parents didnt give it much attention, and we as kids, ever rambunctious found it an excuse to cut up and BUNK – or cut, hehe – class.

Oh, the stories I could tell in that regard, and I probably will ,including a “Tie and Dye and Batik” teacher my daughter loves and cracks up every time I mention it.

But anyway, so this clay modeling guy with a mustache of all things was a fierce sort.

So it seemed to us at that stage, but it didnt put people off from messing with him, or cutting classes etc.

He’d whack us in manners teachers wouldn’t DARE to do these days. 

IT hurt. Oh my!

But it only egged us on further. Well, most of us.

And that class involved making “models out of clay” or some BS (no, not the models you and I like).

I never liked it, but oddly enough, the guy never really hit me despite me cutting class all the time and getting found out.

He did of course once make the comment about “I’ll take care of you here!” when my Dad said that “home punishment wasn’t enough” or something like that.

I remember my Dad saying “please do. He needs it!”

Well oddly enough the guy never did it (plenty of others tried tho).

(I think, looking back, he was posturing. HA!)

But anyway, point being, my friends would often stick “clay” onto a picture of him hanging on the wall he so liked.

You know the sort ..

Sort of like those old fuddy duddies looking on STERNLY And SAGELY at us long after they pass on …

He had a picture like that, belly and all poking out. Apparently he got some award or some nonsense for it.

But … my friend did that once, got found out, and the WHACKING he got. My word!

But he kinda deserved it. Right on the TIP of his nose, hehe.

But anyway, again. point.

That it was a great way to build the GRIP, my friend.

Squeezing and pulling, tugging away, all in uber cold weather sometimes, washing hands with COLD ass water in a rickety sink afterwards …

(part of the reason yours truly HATED the class)

But it would have built a great great grip. 

And no, Bozo schofield, I ain’t talking “your peter” here, hehe.

But anyway, the point of me saying this … GRIP can be built in the most insane, effective and AWESOME Ways via tools you find everywhere.

Except they ain’t tools at all.

Crack open 0 Excuses “Rolls Royce” Fitness, and you’ll see real life examples of WOMEN building grips stronger than the so called big dudes and gym “bo”s.

No, not just the massage girls either!

Crack open Gorilla Grip, and you’ll see you can build your grip via a tool you see everyday, perhaps in the morning, but it ain’t a tool.

Two, or three actually …

(one in the advanced book as well).

Really. Building the grip has never been easier – and building it to RECORD, kung fu like levels – only if you follow my instruction!

And if I say it, you SHOULD do it. Hehe.

Back soon!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – I was nothing if not the “best student” at school.

PS #2 – After Pushup Central, THIS book has been trolled the most, and there is a reason, hehe, that it has – and it also SELLS the most – and gets the more reviews and “sh”views. Check ’em all out!

PPS – Oh, and the compilation is there for a reason!