Farm Boy Arms!

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In the movie, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” which I – I dont know if I should say fortunately or not saw last night on the internet, the male lead, or one of them is not just a fruitcake x 100 (as one of the Deputy Sheriff’s researching his House of Horrors says) – but also a massive HULK.

“What a hulk”, I can almost hear Mom saying. “He must be eating all their food!”

(She said that growing up about a big dude who used to iron clothes for her, or was part of that family)….

Mom always had something against big dudes. Hehe.

Anyway, in this movie, when the Director I believe was asked why he chose Dan Yeager for the role of the slasher – nutjob x 100 – this is what he said.

Now identified as Jedidiah Sawyer. Luessenhop stated that he picked Yeager because he felt a sense of “menace” after witnessing Yeager’s 6’6″ frame, “farm boy arms”, and “brooding brow” stand “quiet and circumspect”. He claimed he could no longer think of another actor afterward. Sam McKinzie portrays a young Leatherface.

I get it!

I dont know about the sense of menace, but often times, I’ve wondered why the Tom Tom’s react violently (via words and expression) when I even so much as TALK TO them – while the doers love me like nothing else.

It’s because my words – my “saying it like it is” conveys MENACE to the Tom Tom’s, as well as the fact they know when it comes right down to it, I’m perfectly happy to, if I have to, make them feel like a one legged man in a booty kicking contest.

I have my ways of doing this!

Usually mostly verbal. Words can sometimes really cut!

Speaking of cutting …

That Movie … but before we get to it, two things.

I’m hardly 6’6″ like Dan is!

But working on a farm, I’ve no idea if he did that, will give you that rugged look for one.

And the massive arms, without necessarily following any sort of tailored fitness routines.

My wife, when I first met her had a 12 pack – literally.

From running and working in the fields when she was young.

She never did a single pull-up or pushup – till date, she cannot hang on to the pulling bar, but when I first met her, she looked like a triathlete (she wasn’t, and she didnt have many of the attributes, but she was in top shape overall).

Believe me, carrying buckets of slop from here to there in “muck” knees deep, or more … that will build the core and grip like nothing else, and the legs and traps.

Dan in the movie, or “Jed Sawyer” – has the look!

Just a massive character, and when he shows up with a chainsaw to hack folks to bits, it’s not the chainsaw so much you’re scared of (I remember thinking throughout the movie “how can I take this AWAY from him”) – but his size, his HULK, the raw muscle and brute strength “natural strength”.

Working on a farm all day long is a workout like nothing else, my friend – and the closest thing to it in my books is Animal Kingdom Workouts , which approximates the way ANIMALS move in the wild, which is huge too in terms of getting you that look – but more importantly, fit as a fiddle, natural, solid strength like a Mack truck x 100!

Aussie T 20 captain, or at least at one time, I’m not sure if he still is Aaron Finch “Finchy” has the look too.

“Just a big, strong farm boy – cutting down wood all day” was what a commentator once said about those upper arms!

Matty Hayden, one of my favorite batters “Big Matt the Batt”.

They all have the look, none are 6’6″ though … Hehe. Neither is my buddy from the Marines, and I can just imagine a 6’6″ pissed off loony tune coming at me with a mammoth chainsaw.

He wasn’t the most fleet footed in the movie, but most psychotic sorts dont need to be!

Anyway, word of caution about the movie.

SOME of it is supposed to be based on real life occurences back in the day.

I’ve no idea if it is.

But there’s gore and slasher movies, then theres gore – then there is gore – and then there is THIS movie.

The closest thing I can think of to this are some of Ben Settle’s books (which I have not read) – which paint the same sort of picture via words though that this movie does, maybe even gorier.

I wonder how these guys imagine all this to writ about it, or make movies about it – then again, lots of pyschos do it in real life…

Word of caution there, although I’ll be honest.

Much like with other horror movies, I STRUGGLED to be scared here.

Hehe.

Especially the “human face” the guy wears throughout the movie … its like a clown mask to be honest. Hehe.

I dont know if it’s the face they overdo the gore, or what it is, but its hilarious beyond a certain point – even the gore seems “made up”.

I’d rather Basic Instinct, and the Hannibal series, with FAR less actual gore, but Anthony Hopkins, all of 5’7″ conveys solid menace via looks and words more than any silly slasher movie ever ever could – it’s all about the mind, and vibes!

“I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice Cianti!”

shhhhhh!

I’m sure everyone remembers that iconic scene.

Hopkins, he’s one of the best – legend!

Anyway … I’m still unable to figure out why “Jed” took after all the guys in the house with a chainsaw.

Apparently the first movie in the series – they did that too, they were all cannibals, but they did it under the guise of “protecting family” – here there was none, just one sole family member he’d never met, and her friends …

But its hilarious in a way.

Huge Texas mansion, Victorian era style.

It’s only when you head to the massive basement (which has butler’s quarters and so forth I’d imagine, or other servants of the time – larders, wine cellars, the lot) – that you understand and see what lurks beneath.

And even then, you gotta open tons of doors and such to find this monster.

He doesnt want to be found, but once he is, once you uncork the genie, there’s no stopping him!

Don’t open that metal door behind which he resides – it’s hard to open for a reason! Hehe.

Kinda like me when I wake up in the morning, I cannot stop giggling.

Maybe I should get a chainsaw or something and come tearing out with a clown mask on to drive all the Tom Tom’s badgering me away. Hehe.

I’m kinda the same, I never answer phones, I’m hard to find except for people I want to find me … hehe.

But once you unleash the BEAST. LOL.

“Buland Darawaza”.

The door of victory, as it was, built by Emperor Akbar in India to apparently celebrate his taking of the Indian state Gujarat. . .

The highest gateway in the world.

Dont – under any circumstance – breach that – or you NEVER know what lurketh behind. Hehe.

Much like doors in a certain house I know of . . .

But anyway, I cannot stop chuckling at the movie.

And especially the ending, literally the corniest ending to the movie I’ve ever seen, I mean, you find out your cousin is the cannibalistic monster residing in your basement, you never see him (much like the Bozo) – but he’s THERE, he “protects” you – but he does so via his horrible slashy means, while he leaves the rest of the house pristine and clean, human thigh bones on a plate rotting away the only clue to his “abode” deep down there, much like the devil, so old that people that saw it in the movie wondered “wtf” is that.

Then the guy kills cops in his lunacy, kills general members of the public, and the Sheriff never shoots him despite being able to …

(and, you keep living with him in the same house, which conveniently or not, has a cemetery in the garden, ostensibly the graves are family members that have passed on, thats when the “Sawyer” lets them – there’s a scene in the movie where a dead Grandma or someone is decomposing, apparently the looney tune only wanted to bury her after the house was handed over to the last remaining member – who continues to apparently live in the massive house alone, with this character brooding away in the basement in the house of “slaughterhouse” horrors).

Just utter lunacy, I can understand how things worked “back in the day in the Wild West”, but … neither 1970 something or 2013 is the Wild West…

But, I did like the “Texas” style of the movie. Hehe.

Big, loud, lots of open space, plenty of WOODS – and barb-e-ques.

And beer!

And, the “welcome to Texas, motherfucker!” a girl says when she shoots at the killer through a closed door.

Hehe.

Indeed!

Stay the F off my land, my property, my life, I can identify with that, damn right, damn SKIPPY!

I love America, and I probably love Texas the MOST in it. Hehe.

Anyway …

The other course to give you the “farm boy” rugged look is Pushup Central – builds the arms up like nothing else.

Most think its all about biceps.