I’ve grown weary of repeating this, but as I tell a certain friend some very harsh home truths that I hope he’ll take like a man, I remember John Walker, a great friend and customer who once told me … well, what I’ve mentioned in the past in my emails, i.e. there was a period I let myself get out of shape – not really “fat phocker”, but certainly not up to the standards I’ve set for myself.
I have written about it galore on this site too, if you do a search, you’ll find it.
And he got back to me saying “there was something very difficult he needed to tell me”, and then he did i.e. that I looked FAT at the time.
I immediately agreed, and took the feedback on board – because guess what, dude was damn RIGHT.
He later also told me “thanks for taking this like a man, because you never know how the other person will react when you talk that brutally to him”.
Well, we all know about brutal and “if I’m more brutally honest than Donald Trump” – and all that!
But to me, it’s always been about this – can you TAKE a punch first before you dole it out?
Ask any real fighter this, they’ll tell you the same thing.
I still remember Marc the African Silver back Gorilla, someone who could knock me out probably in less than 30 seconds in the ring despite his lack of conditioning – CLOCKING me one on the shoulder
I remember how it “bounced off me” – a perfect punch!
“You’re a man, you can take it!” he told me before clocking me.
Now, I didnt go down – so I thought it was a “medium velocity blow”.
I asked him later.
“Nah, I clocked you pretty hard there”, he said. “Probably around 80% or so of my full power” ..
I wouldnt want to feel the full power. Hehe. Ditto for my buddy from the MArines.
My point here is this – brutal feedback is often necessary, and it makes you IMPROVE.
IF it its true, and IF the person delivering the advice has DONE the thing – themselves.
I dont mean go as far as the Chinese Dad who recently put his young daughter “rebellion central, I wont go to school” at work in the blistering heat in the lotus field picking lotus roots “get used to the reality of life NOW”.
Or, my own father who claimed he’d “take my nice clothes away”, “dress me in rags and send me to the mechanic’s if I didnt study well enough or some nonsense”.
Those tactics backfire, in my case I “did what I had to do to survive at school”, but I certainly didnt perform, and many cases even try to perform up to my full potential.
People keep saying, like Marc once told me about self defense “they wont need it”.
Same thing with fitness, people think “its the modern world, we dont need it”.
I’ve been saying for years, when it comes right down to it, when your house, car, degrees, ALL of it – bank accounts – are taken away from you, stripped – THEN what are you going to do.
“That will never happen”, they pooh pooh.
Take a look around you and tell me if thats true, my friend.
People count on filing police reports when people “assault” them, but isn’t it better to whack them back – and have the ability to protect yourself if needed as opposed to rely on someone else and beg?
Even the most anti-gun people would be hard pressed to argue with me on this one.
Same thing for fitness.
I remember my friend Ricky once famously calling the cops on a roomie who stole from him (I alerted him to it in the morning, he drove down from Jackson to do it) – and basically asking the cop to “please handle it” – which of course involved cases and what not.
“Indians screwing over other Indians” is how he put it.
Yet, if I were him ?
I’d simply walk up to dude and demand my stuff back.
My friend chose the easier option because for some reason (maybe the guy’s immigration status) the guy was shit scared of the cops (though he was legal, he did not have to be scared!).
Now, I’m not saying to disregard institutions – they are there for a purpose.
I’m not saying life should be a free for all, but often times, unfortunately, that is what boils down to.
CAN you whack the other person if you need to?
You might never need to, but that possibility is looking increasingly remote as I write this…
A long time ago, in college, I remember my roomie – big dude who was doing some ROTC training or something, I believe.
I remember him knocking off pushups with feet on his bed, hands on mine…
I remember feeling INADEQUATE at the time, and the excuses I made for not going to the gym, despite this same guy telling me to go with him.
“Dont worry about those damned women” he kept telling me. “they’re hot and sweaty there too!”
I never took his advice, but I remember trying pushups on my lonesome in the dorm room when he wasn’t there.
Can any of us say we wouldn’t do the same – if you’re a real man that is ?
Today, as I tell a friend all of this, and more, some home truths that he really needed to hear – I feel compelled to tell YOU too.
I got into a physical fight with this same roomie one night when drunk.
Admittedly I was getting in his face in a way I should not have, I was still not used to the “Western way of doing things” in that regard (not an excuse there!) but I still remember the way he pinned me down and his knee on the small of my back, he could have broken my neck if he wanted to.
Years later, now?
One, I’d never act that way. Hehe.
And two, I dont think I’d let him get within striking – or grappling distance in the first place. hehe.
Not to mention all of the rest.
This is why if there is one person I have to thank, its Ann Lee – again.
We never talk
She likely has forgotten about me a long time ago.
But I will never forget her, because SHE is the one that gave me the kick up the rumpus that finally changed my whole life around, although she does not know it, and probably had no clue at the time.
Words are powerful, my friend.
We might claim we ignore them, but no-one ignores, so choose your words with CARE.
And don’t back away from giving brutally honest advice when needed!
John Walker – I have to thank him again, even though he might be too busy to read this!
And the advice I have to give you, closing note – never think you wont need it.
You just might, my friend.
Get in shape – invest in the 0 Excuses Fitness System NOW.
As another great customer Charles Mitchell famously pointed out, with the way the world is going, your way of training is what is needed. No weights, no gyms, just your own BODYWEIGHT!
And that, friend is that.
PS – As for the Bozos (like a certain Schofield) who sit at the ‘puter and claim they’re the big dog or what not – CAN they actually back their talk up.
For Glyn of course, we all know the answer. He’s so into back he’d be hard pressed to get his nose out of there in the first place if you get my drift, hehe.
But it begets a good point.
Marketing and bluster are one thing, but CAN you back up your talk when push comes to shove?
My heart breaks seeing what is going on in Ukraine, yet, logically speaking – just why a country with really no military to speak of would provoke another country that is famous for digging in and gumption (Battle of Stalingrad, anyone??) – that NO power (except the equally “never say die” Afghans) have been able to either defeat or hold off – with NATO on their borders?
Dont get me wrong, they have a right to do what they want, there is NO excuse for what is going on now, yes, Russia was creeping up on them like they did in Crimea, but end of the day, here’s the bottom line.
The Russians dont want the entire world, they are interested in their own sphere of influence and restoring the Soviet Union back to what it was, or at least the facade.
It is not China which literally wants the whole world – THAT is the real threat.
And personally, these toothless sanctions being applied on Russia which leave loopholes for energy sales – end up increasing the price of gas – and then Russia sells that same gas back at higher prices – they said the Rouble would crash, nothing of the nature happened, it’s sitting pretty right now where it was pre-invasion levels.
There is something to be said about hiding your strength, biding your time.
There is something, and this ties into what I’ve been saying here – CAN you back up what you say?
Russia can in terms of resources for one … (which it’s amazing, the West is more concerned about transgender sports competitions, LGBTQEISS (lol) rights, BLM, “civil rights”, “racism” and other crap when the REAL issues i.e. getting manufacturing back to America for one – are nigh Ignored? While real military issues like the Navy with it’s issues right now – or even fighting a war on multiple fronts – are IGNORED?) ..
(dont get me wrong, I have no doubt America still has the manufacturing CAPACITY – but is the WILL there? THAT is the entir epoint, anyway back to it – this isn’t a treatise on the war!).
The results, my friend, are clear enough for all to see, and we haven’t even started in terms of the devastation.
Again, I dont support what is happening in Ukraine, I never have, but it’s been working up to this for a while, and the Ukraninans haven’t exactly helped their own cause either by ignoring history on this one.
I’ll just end by quoting Marc the African Silverback Gorilla on this one.
“Get in the ring with me for 15 minutes!”.
’nuff said, boys and girls.