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“More Money” I hear people chant back saying …
Yeah.
OK.
But what do you really WANT?
All my life, I’ve asked myself that question w.r.t goals, w.r.t everything I do (before I do it) – and money has never come into the equation FIRST.
Its there, yes – obviously. It’s required. But it isn’t “what I want from this”.
Of course, getting people to talk to their inner selves, uncover – or unveil, I should say – their innermost desires, what they really want deep down inside is a losing battle unless the person is prepared to fight that battle which most arent.
I remember my Dad telling me years and years ago about how I built a WALL Around myself mentally and wouldn’t let anyone else in.
Little did he know I was practising Napoleon Hill’s technique which he mentions in the (and I had no clue about the book then, or who Hill was – I was just a kid doing what came naturally, what always has!) book “Get Rich with Peace of Mind” – that being basically the “princes” which erect several levels of wall around the castle that is his mind so that only the positive, and the thoughts he WANTS in there enters.
Which is a great way to do it.
Most people, however, erect barriers INTERALLY – for THEMSELVES.
Which is terrible, because you unconsciously stop your mind – your own mind – from acknowledging what it is you truly WANT OUT OF LIFE! (and for yourself!)
Yesterday, the ex was, as I knew she would after a month or so – complaining about “do you ever want me to cook for you in the future etc”
This after a month or so of me completely going off her cooking (I got sick and tired of the constant bitching, whining, pissing, moaning about crap that really dont matter in the grand scheme of things) … which I’ve been having fun roasting vegetables the entire month – something I’ve never quite gotten into – I was always more of a meat eater, still am, but some of that stuff tastes absolutely delicious when done right, and no, laying it out on a baking tray isn’t “doing it right”, I learn new things every time I do it.
Like a customer once told me “cooking is a skill, just like anything else”.
And he’s right.
Anyway …
She wanted to use some things of mine – and I said yes without any strings attached. I could care less – not that there’s much point talking sense to or dealing with looney tunes.
Yet – the question.
Then I told her, ok, if you dont want to use mine, buy your own I said mildy.
That has fees etc she complained.
Well, thats just a small one time fee I said mildly…
And it went on and on and on and – I asked her this one question though in response to her initial question.
“Do you WANT to cook for me?”
She of course wouldn’t answer directly which I Expected.
“I do it!” she huffed.
Which she does, yes.
But she doesnt do it with heart, I can feel her not satisfied with what she’s doing for me in that regard, therefore, last month, I stopped it altogether.
Its more like a “duty” for her, and I can feel it, I could for months, and therefore, regardless of what I “give” her – I dont want anything in return, simple. Yes, I dont mind her doing it for me. But it’s hardly something I cant live without, if you get my drift…
The answer is NO – not unless certain ridiculous conditions from her end are met, which they wont be.
But at least say it …
Anyway …
Point is this, you have to be willing to answer, if just to yourself, what you really WANT my friend.
Its not about what others think is right, what looks nice and sexy – what is what society and folks approve of and such.
Its about what YOU want deep down at YOUR CORE.
Those hidden desires – either sexually or not – that most people never BEGIN to acknowledge.
Fitness wise, what do you really want?
For most people it’s a six pack one day, bulging biceps the next …
(I’ve never heard internal health and mental strength being mentioned, though these are an integral part of “fitness” done right).
“Look like a movie star” … (which no, that was never really a conscious goal for me – subconscious yes – lesson right there! Haha)
Brooks Kubik, in Dinosaur Bodyweight Training talks about a great point.
He tells you to sit down, draw – or write – whichever comes naturally – your ideal “you” on a sheet of paper without thinking (in terms of fitness) and specifially goes on record saying “this isn’t an exercise in politcal correctness, or what Brooks might like”.
He even says “I’m completely against the juice, but if your idea of fitness is monstrous bulging muscles, then draw that!”
(I’m paraphrasing).
Yes, Charles, I keep the gist! Haha.
(A customer who once said he loved how I paraphrased, but kept the core meaning of the words alive. Hey. Us wordsmiths are like that!)
But anyway – THAT, my friend, is how to do it.
What do YOU want out of your life, your relationships, your business even, your fitness programs – and such?
CAN you answer that – those – questions definitively?
Most cannot answer with any degree of clarity.
Anyway.
Thats something to ponder – more life advice in Zero to Hero! and Gumption Galore!.
Yes, more editions on the way – but I need to see more interest for the LATTER book before I start (there’s plenty for the former, but the latter – not quite as yet. Write back, lets get that one going, and we’ll do up an integrated something for both books).
And thats that.
Best,
Rahul Mookerjee
PS – Apply for coaching here. (from the “modern Day Gandhi“)
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