Once upon a time, my friend, I saw something nigh spectacualar.
A stare down for the ages.
Nothing like you’ve ever seen before, even at the start of a UFC match.
Herschel walker would quiver most likely looking at it (the staredown).
Not really, hehe. The man is a beast.
PPV, what you might call it, what was this stare down of the Titans, so brutal was each other’s steady stare at each other, it might well be Godzilla vs King Kong.
…. it was, well, a monkey and a dog staring each other down.
Now, before, or after you start/stop GUFFAWING out loud – hear me out.
Dogs and monkeys never get along, do they?
And being this was in India, where apparently everything from monkeys, dogs, cats, all stray – see fit to freely roam neighborhoods in the city, along with a medley of crows, pigeons, and parrots that don’t seem to get along either – it was hilarious indeed.
Now, these monkeys can be a menace bar NONE, especially for the medly of “vegetable sellers” that also see fit to roam the roads from morning till dusk and scream their lungs out (remember the tale of “Pooja” I once wrote about?) selling vegetables or what not (I dont know why India still hates Walmart, for one, I’d rather go to a SUPERMARKET or 7-11 than deal with all that, but what do I know, eh)
(lots of vested interests at play, curiously enough, “only in india” a country of massive contradictions that will likely never go away “as we think so we are”).
(and the cows, which sit right in the middle of gleaming new highways – high speed roads with cars going at over 60 miles/hr stopping, making their way around the cows sitting pristinely in the center of the road, Lord(dess) forbid the car or anyone touches the cow, of course, that poor thing sustains itself on a diet of rubbish and plastic mostly, since the civic authorities despite proclaiming it holy don’t see fit to take care of it – or the menagerie of stray dogs, cats, etc that can be a massive menace (ever put your trash out at night and have it chewed up) – or the monkeys, which grab tons of bags of veggies and corn and what not from the poor veggie sellers, who are armed with sticks yes, but monkeys are pretty stealthy, much like the raven who literally stole a tiny piece of bread from my hand outside in the park once years ago – now thats animal kingdom vision!).
Enough on that, eh.
India, the land of massive and ever lasting contradictions … most of which I dont quite like (hence I dont stay there too often).
But anyway, the staredown, I dont know who would win it.
I’d say the doggie would, but only if there were no trees or ledges around, since he can likely run faster, and deliver a nice little nip too.
With trees around though, I’ve seen monkeys smack lions on the head in Kenya!
(Baboons, to be specific)
So I don’t know, but they can’t stand each other. Hehe. And it’s always a trip to watch the people tripping as well when the parades of monkeys descends upon localities in india- or if you’re in Mumbai, you might well catch a glimpse of leopards outside your apartment too.
Ah, the leopard, the animal John Walker (a great customer of mine) correctly said (and he pointed out why) – that Fast and Furious Fitness will turn YOU into (the human equivalent).
Anyway, where am I going with all this, well, just a coupla of things.
First off,friend, remember the HUMAN reigns supreme.
Dogs can’t climb trees, and monkeys can’t really do pushups.
The grizzly, of course, would win in a staredown even with an elephant most likely, but it can’t climb too well either, or do monkey bar work …
The human being is the only animal that can do it all, in all planes.
Now, before idiots and Bozos and birdbrains get back to me with objections of “that is such a stupid comparison”- hang on.
Sure, we can’t fly like birds do – but we CAN fly, eh.
We might never get a strong as an ape – likely no, but we can do more pushups and bridging than an ape would ever think of doing.
And so forth.
And my point simply is this – if there is a book you MUST get, if there is a way of training you simply MUST model your training upon, it is Animal Kingdom Workouts.
Start off with Advanced Hill Training FIRST, then graduate to THIS book.
Some of you have gone in reverse, which is fine too … (hey, there’s another thing, I haven’t seen too many animals moving in reverse that easily!)
(well, some cant I should say)Or maybe they can, but here’s the thing – there is another reason I’m saying all this.
You’ll never be as agile as a shark in water, or leap out like a dolphin or orca, but you can – should – and must, when you get the chance,port Animal Kingdom Workouts over …. to the pool, or water in general.
Trust me, the water gives you a workout that is hard to mimic anywhere – and allows you to isolate large groups of muscles – while you’re working the whole body (I know, contradiction, but it’s true).
And when you bring Animal Kingdom movements to the water, you amp up the normal effect x 5.
That don’t mean you dont need to do the ground work, of course you do, but you need to ADD the water work in.
Herschel Walker again, despite the scores of pushups and pull-ups he did daily, he made sure to get pool work in too!
Now, Ive floated this idea – no pun intended in the Ship, and some people have been very agreeable and amenable to “Acquatic Animal Kingdom Workouts“.
What about you?
Trust me, thats another project I’ve got in my mind and it will likely happen SOON as well, maybe sooner if you give me the OK.
Which of course, would require you to get back to me.
Someone (a Ship member) was curious about why I said “I’m disappointed in some of you” in an email prior to this.
Well, it wasn’t just you not taking advantage of the sale (IF you didnt, that was a huge one, 50% off!) – it was because some people never got back tom e.
Now, hear me out.
I’m anal about this sort of thing, so much so that Glyn Bozo once made a meme specifically trolling me with “Get back to me, Jesus!” written all over it, or some nonsense (he copied my “Jesus Christ” expression that this long haired olive skinned Jezuz or Jezebel, hehe – often uses) …
But really , thats how I am.
I like hearing back from you guys, even if it’s a simple “all is well, Rahul!” – and especially if I ask so many times!
But anyway, lots of you did get back and DID take advantage of the sale…
But water wise, if this is a book you’d like – shout out – let me know.
& if you dont think this sort of thing fries the body?
Youve likely never gone swimming for one.
And two, you’ve never done the alligator crawl either forward or reverse using your tail as a rudder in water…
i.e. swim JUST with your upper body, or just the legs…
That core will not just burn, it will FRY.
Just like it does with the alligator walk on land!
Trust me now and believe me later, or however you say, that is a workout unto itself, a whole medly of different workouts you can do, and when you combine with land work at the same time, watch out – you’ll be a human beast x 10 if not more.
So thats it for this one, friend.
Take action on the books above of course if you have not already.
And I’ll see you soon!
P.S – I have not, yet, been able to figure out why a human animal would choose to pay $500 plus per month for Bozo-flix, but not less than 1/4 that for the Ship. Does Bozo flix market that well, or is the lure of being a lazy phock really what does it, hehe.
PS #2 – Staredowns ? Bozo vs Rahul, if the Bozo didnt pee and crap his pants first, and take off as fast as he could, desperately trying to give the English hare competition, lol.
Seriously, this idiot wasn’t content with just posting “stuff coming out of his rear wazoo” on social media. He even sent me an email saying “I’ll kick your ass and winner licks ass”.
Sometimes, you just gotta give up …
I’ll see if I can find the meme I once saw on a manager’s desk in China.
“Sometimes, it’s easier to piss and give up”, with a boy pissing it out too. Hehe.