How pushups and pull-ups attract me in the same manner a “theka” does….

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It’s hilarious.

The things that attract us, what we really WANT out of life…

All my life people have questioned why I “only drink light beer”.

I’m so stuck on the “light” part of it that I wouldn’t drink anything else if you gave it to me on a platter. Includes Johnny Walker and all the well known brands …

Has nothing to do with fitness, the silly misconceptions about “whiskey is worse than beer health wise” and other crap (alcohol is alcohol period).

Cigarette wise, I’ll smoke most brands which people don’t understand again.

But beer?

It’s light or nothing.

For whatever reason I cannot ever in India find any of the decent light beer brands I love. As of late, “all out of stock”. India still has these antiquated “English wine and beer shops” where they hand you your grog literally from behind bars – hehe. Another leftover from the British Raj apparently that noone ever wanted to change.

In Hindi it’s called “theka”. I cannot quite find the right English translation for it.

It’s funny – I’d rather prefer China with 24/7/365 delivery as opposed to these “thekas” which neither deliver nor seem to have what I’m looking for most of the time. Not to mention the annoyance of public transport in India (if you’ve tried it, you know what I’m talking about).

In China it was make a phone call, beers there within 10 min from a convenience store. Apparently even those are still a foreign concept in India, a supposed “world power”.

Or just walk in and get it as you normally would.

Yet it’s funny.

Every time I pass those annoying shops, something about them “draws” me to them – even though I might not even be drinking at that time. Hehe.

And I enter the “prisoners clamoring for grog” environment. Hehe. It’s hilarious, really, if you think about it… As I go, the word “theka” pronounced in a foreign accent (theyyyyyyka – he was trying to imitate my accent in a not so authentic manner, hehe – they all called me “angrez” (Englishman) at any job I’ve ever worked in India) as a colleague once humorously did at THAT job where for six months we probably spent more time drinking beer than in the office – and got spectacular results the company had never seen till then.

Like a long lost lover, a beacon amongst the madness in India, it draws me in… Hehe.

I still remember stepping off the plane in 2003 from the US – and landing in Delhi.

Ok, so 1130 pm at night.

Cold beer time.

Except, nothing to be found, not even any sort of convenience store.

Asked my Dad about it the next day …

He sagely pointed to one of these nondescript hole in the wall joints which probably make more money than all the Gucci stores in the mall combined.

“The theka“, he went.


“The theka will give you all the cold beer you want”, he went. “there, look! It’s doing brisk business too!”

There was some discussion about this going on with mom too, and dad chimed in.

They do HUGE business, he went. “Bhison sale hoy” (the Bengali words he used).

So they do. Hehe. Literally, I’ve seen these guys balance sheets – and the volumes of money daily makes my eyes boggle. The guys that own the shops are probably millionaires a few times over!

So it was judging by the war going on in front of the bars to get grog before the shutters slam down at exactly 10 pm, not a minute after, not a second before. Hehe.

Dad , like most in India is a whiskey type of guy. So is Mom. I did give him a lot of beer when they came to visit me in China (back when we were still on speaking terms and Dad wistfuly remarking “how easy it must be to get girls here” – probably one reason he never wanted me to go there in the first place, but then again, he knows full well women and hordes of them have never been an issue for me anywhere in the world – hehe) but apparently it put him on the toilet and that was that (I remember Mom telling me about it, how could you not know etc , I was like, I don’t know – I was flat out, lol).

And no matter what else you can find in India, you’ll ALWAYS find hard liquor of any sort in an Indian “theka”.

Light beer, now that’s another tale. Ugh!

These “thekas” are a lot better in other parts of the country than the capital for whatever reason. The badlands of Haryana, the hinterlands of Punjab. Id rather be there. Maybe even in Bengal or South India, the Beautiful North Eastern part of the country, an under appreciated gem as I’ve always said. No idiotic concept of dry days (apparently the Delhi government gets to decide when you can and cant have a drink. Wtf?) for one, and shops stay open – no delivery yes, but in certain parts of the country apps do deliver, though how convenient it is I’m yet to find out. I do know these apps are pretty good for getting cigarettes etc delivered within 10 minutes straight…

I love the taste of light beer more than the liquor in it.

Therefore, as light as possible. Most don’t understand why I don’t drink to get drunk, yet drink a lot of beer anyway.

Most in India prefer “strong” because it’s cheaper in terms of getting drunk which I’ve always found stupid. Any true beer connesiuour would too.

Randeep Hooda made a comment about ,how when he was playing the role of an alcoholic cop in Jannat 2, he got so into the role he’d be craving drinks at 11AM. Hehe. He had to get help for it.

So he said, at least. I doubt he needed help hehe.

That guy could be me, right down to the weight loss, the utter dedication to what he does, except the only difference he’s always had a supportive family. Me, well, you guys know the story!

Except I don’t crave the drink as much as the visit to the store apparently. Hilarious, illogical, insane, yet true. And that’s how “attraction”, feelings etc work. There’s no logic there!

Anyway what’s all this got to do with fitness?

Pushups and pull-ups attract me the same way.

And hence my routine of doing pushups throughout the day.

Just reading, writing about pushups makes me want to go do them. If I see others doing them at a far lower level than me, I want to go do them!

If I’m drinking beer and watching a movie and somone does pushups in it, I’ve gotta get down and crank some out too!

In the park, same thing. Before sitting down on the grass? Pushups on it!

Same thing with pull-ups.

Every time I pass the pull-up bar at home, I don’t HAVE to do pull-ups. But I do!

And I do.

Same thing with monkey bars. That feeling attracts me, and I do a set of monkey bars pronto.

Most don’t get it.

Call it habit, dedication, discipline, what I truly WANT and get, but that’s how to attract results in your life my friend – in any sphere.

You gotta want it so bad the rest comes on auto pilot!

And that’s the story here.

Invest in the 0 Excuses Fitness system today if you’re even remotely interested in improving your health and fitness levels to hitherto unheard of levels.

And that’s that.



PS – This entire ramble wouldn’t be complete without a mention of Ann Lee, the Chinese girl who used to, as Chuck wistfully once asked “how could you leave a girl like that” pound beers with me till late at night, probably the only person in the world (well, Steve Austin might be another, hehe) that could better me in a light beer drinking competition.

The chick that both literally and figuratively KICKED my ass (yes, literally too) and wasn’t the only reason for 0 Excuses Fitness starting, but a huge one nonetheless.

She’s mentioned on the Advanced Hill Training page for a damn good reason. A damn fine product too!

Ah, the memories, the parties that continue till this day, “those days that make the eyes mist over” …

…. And the thekas that being memories flooding back.

Ok, enough already – hehe.

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