Recently, without thinking as I often do just about anywhere, I dropped the ole backside down in my daughter’s room.
Nary did I predict the squeals coming from a certain significant other!
“GET UP!” she literally thundered.
Apparently I was sitting in front of a makeshift temple which she had made there.
Reminded me of when at the age of 17 I once at an airport (when a cop wanted ID or something – they ask you that willy nilly for international arrivals apparently, regardless of citizenship or what not) I was asked for “documents”, so I was like, ok, fine officer, hold up …
“Sir, please dont kneel!”
I wasn’t kneeling – but I guess the Hindu squat like position looked like I was taking a knee – back in 98.
(in the above case, i.e. the wife I just dropped down into a Rahul Mookerjee patented squat without thinking about it as is my wont anywhere…)
Nah. I wouldn’t do that for you know what today. No way, Jose. Pun intended. Maybe not (but really NO, I’m against the taking a knee nonsense – so is a certain quinton De Kock, so he should be – legend!) …
I realize y’all dont probably know who is, well, a South African batter who if he had not retired due a lot of the nonsense going on in ole Saffers, would probably be on par with Adam Gilchrist in a few years (Aussie batting legend).
Wife to me –
“He’s farting in front of my TEMPLE!”
To the wife –
“Holy Mary”, I riposted. “All I did was squat, and … ”
“You dont know where to squat!”
Well, I summoned – or mentioned “Holy Mary”, I responded, so all is OK. She’ll forgive us – despite her God of course being named something else, hehe.
“Mother of Jesus”, I went which seemed to calm her down with some comment she made about “all girls are mothers or something” (I’ve no idea, I just know the foghorn quit blaring at that point. Hehe). Which is what counts, eh.
Us lovely men …
So, what do you get when you cross an elephant with a Volkswagen – apparently a car with a huge trunk.
Why are writers strange people?
This I loved – because they have their TAILS in their heads.
And what follows a cat everywhere it goes?
Well, not flatulence (I remember Iron Mike talking about his tiger’s farts – ugh! He literally had to let the room air out …) – or other cats, apparently “it’s tail”.
Those three above jokes – well, straight from the daughter whose reading those “joke cards” we all did as kids.
I didnt quite agree with the last one, I mean dogs have tails, why just cats… I dont know!
Anyway – farts, then bad/good jokes (though I gotta give it to the guys who think of these things – including this one “the definition of eternal – a typical day at school, hehe”) …
… well, this, I never fart in front of a temple not because of what the wife said or because I dont want to be remembered as the kid who farted in church, hehe.
Because, well – apparently farts caused DEATHS.
Apparently back in the day people took ’em seriously, and a fart in Rome caused thousands of people to riot, and in the melee tons of “Jews” apparently were trampled to death.
I realize this may sound controversial.
It aint me saying it – read it here – https://www.ancient-origins.net/weird-facts/fart-riot-0017161…
Apparently Egyptians too.
I’ve no idea why only Jews were trampled to death or how they even figured that one out?
The real joke, my friend is what fitness has turned into these days.
Gyms, puffng, buffing, two second Tikky tok nonsense, mirrors, spandex, chrome, fern, oiling the muscles, preeing, posing, PUMPING, TONING, and all this other rubbish – not to mention the utterly retarded ridiculous machines – all of it reminds me of two things.
One, the joke about only going to the gym because “I prefer donuts”.
And two, if you’re into real fitness…
“What do you call life’s up and downs”
Speaking of which, I’m off to do some.
Follow along right HERE with me!
PS – Despite not really “preferring it”, I am leaning towards putting a video or two out on my most recent club work – or perhaps squats, something else, I aint figga that one out as YET, my nikka.
If you have any suggestions, shoot ’em muh way …
Not to mention, this dude John Henry who I recently read upon, apparently some guy back during the era of slavery in the South who was an ace at hammer, and literally killed himself trying to outdo a machine (that was performing the same task).
I dont know whats it with like I’ve said before, thinking computer that (like me) predict what you’re going to think and show it, all I know in terms of jokes is at the age of 9 or maybe 8, Dad had “the words Henry John” on a T shirt Mom bought, it was a huge hit in terms of my sis and me laughing our asses off at it, by using his first name with “John”.
Think about it i.e. Indian name John … Hehe. Doesn’t quite fit! Like “Rahul John” … Hehe.
But anyway, that was finally sewn off by Mom I think, he then wore the T shirt to tennis.
Back to dude I’m talking about – –
All well and macho I’d think, but please do NOT attempt the same thing with Lumberjack Lodestone Fitness is what I’d say – I want you fit and strong, not “six feet under” …
I mean, literally. Gotta give it to dude for gumption but he did go a bit too far, IF that tale is true, which it may even not be…