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Sometimes, you receive an email that is so full of – you could call it ignorant, or you could call it “automated bot” (or you could politely say “algorithm”) – or you could call it trolling, except I doubt Google actively trolls, but reading this response?

Ever seen the emoticon with eyes bulging out of sockets as if to say WTF.

That was exactly how I felt.

Here, let me paste it.

??

Christ almighty, or since we’re talking Nazi feminists and God(desses), Mother Mary … or Durga, or Kali, or whichever ancient Chinese Goddesses sitting on the moon or what not …

Y’all have read the last email blast about Google, no?

Here it is.

Even the most anti Rahul of people will notice that some very salient points were raised in that email.

And so, when I received a response from Google on it, I thought I’d be receiving something either apologizing or saying “my way or the highway” (its sad, and I did NOT expect this level of atrocious, absymal bot like service from Shoogle, but whatever..) … but I didn’t.

What I received was a level 2 lesson how to deal with Nazi feminists.

Unlike the book and the techniques in it (coming soon!) – you won’t necessarily PROFIT from this one technique alone.

I’m not going to detail what it is – maybe I will after I paste here – in fact, I’ll tell you.

But please, DO read the earlier post first to see the points I made.

If you read it, and cannot find the points, this ain’t for you.

Let me paste my response to Google first (after they told me what they did i.e. create YET another video – oh, let me tell you what happened first).

After that mess detailed in the email above, Google had the gall to get back to me and … after ALL this back and forth and whining about videos and what not – similar to what an idiot at Microsoft did the other day –

“Just create a new listing!”

And that was that.

Yours truly fired this off – – –

Hello,

If after about a bazillion emails, all you have to say is “we dont care about the problem!” (and about the time I spent on all this too, not to mention the hassle you’ve put me through that was NOT WARRANTED i.e. videos etc) – just “create a new listing” – could you not have said that from the get go?

I mean, this seems like you’re filling out boxes on a customer service form “have we ticked all the boxes in terms of asking the customer everything” before we send him a pre-prepared answer…

I got this sort of service from Microsft the other way. I thought Google was much better. Clearly not!

Really – this service – I’ll say it again, is nothing short of absymal.

Best,

Rahul

I thought that would be the end of that.

As per your response, I understand that you may be feeling upset about this whole situation, had I been in your place, I would have been equally upset about it.

I completely understand that this is not the outcome that you must have expected. I hope you would agree that Google wants to make every customer a happy customer however we can only work in adherence to the stated guidelines. Your cooperation is highly appreciated. We always strive to provide a resolution only after through investigation.

Like I just discussed everything in Google works on algorithms, and we never want our customers to be dissatisfied with us. Please understand the fact that you are our valuable customer, and we would never do anything to defame your business or you. We are in fact providing an open platform for every business to globalize and would never want to disappoint your expectations but we abide by few policies to make this business platform genuine for everyone. Sincere apologies for the trouble.

We hope that this was helpful. Please, do get in touch with me for any clarifications or help you may need at any time. “I’m only an email away”.

If you have further questions related to this issue, simply reply to this email and we’ll be happy to help! For additional support on a different issue, you can always reach us via our Help Center

Good luck with your business endeavors and be safe!

Have a wonderful day ahead!

Regards,

Nisha

Jesus God(dess)!!

Anyway notice that what they’re doing is one of two things, if not both –

First, they’re simply not even bothering to read what the customer says.

“OK, OK, whatever you’re right”.

Kinda like an aggrieved husband telling his Nazi feminist wife that.

Except, apparently Google forgot that a) this is a BUSINESS dealing and b) they’re hardly dealing with an illogical Nazi feminist.

They’re dealing with the opposite i.e. ultra logical RATIONAL MALE.

And they of course completely ignored everything I said in the last email in this latest FAKE copy and paste they did.

Defame my business? 

Open platform for all?

Not a genuine platform? 

Like, Miss Nisha, if you’re even a person and not just a bot with that name, pray please (pretty please) tell me WHERE exactly I said ANY of the above?

And of course the nonsense (the vibe is SO CLEAR i.e. “I dont care” vibe) about “I would have felt the same way if I was in your shoes” she pasted later.

Like a credit card company declining an application for a credit card, and sending the customer the following –

Hi! We thank you for the interest shown in Bla Bla Bank for your personal financial requirements. We have processed the information provided by you, but we regret to inform you that we are presently unable to sanction your request. We would like to affirm that non-approval of your application doesn’t in anyway indicate your credit standing. It is just that it does not meet our internal norms. ^Team Bla Bla Bla

And this is a known bank. The same one, of course, that allows only 500 characters to be sent in any time the customer has a complaint, the same bank that responds to everything with “Hi! Let us look into this!” and then take donkey’s years to do precisely that …

(Like guy, if XYZ’s credit score doesnt match up, just man the EFF up and say it directly. But noooooooooo, they gotta be “scared” of losing future busines too, but they’re pansies and won’t take a risk currently, and…)

BAck to Google tho.

Is that just your way of ignoring the real issue, which is a very pertient one?

No I’m not going to type it out again here.

There is a way to say “the customer is always right”. Maybe Google can learn from Amazon in this regard, and this is yet another reason that … ah, but I’ll let it go. There is also a way NOT TO say the above, Google.

It astounds me that a company like Google can provide this sort of service. Really!

You’d think they’d at least PRETEND to read what I wrote to them so many times!

Not.

Who knows.

Maybe they read all my posts on Nazi feminism and decided (their algo, of course, not a real human being) that  I needed help on dealing with Nazi feminist, except the algorithm decided to be extra smart and “let me figure out in a backhanded manner”.

Obviously it isn’t any of that.

Obviously this is descending into the sublimely ridiculous, so I gave up replying.

Obviously, their algorithm auto identifies 99 percent of the email and this “Nisha” (if the person even exists) simply types in whatever she wants with her pretty little (if they are) fingers for the rest.

Hey, they’re not interested in helping anyway!

But really.

If ever there was an example of a reputed company and the sublimely ridiculous, THIS is IT.

Sigh.

Whats it all coming to, eh.

Anyway, back to sanity – I did some special isometrics today, and my stomach is feeling it. Entire core!

be on the outlook for what exactly in the next book on that.

For now, feast yourself on the current bestseller i.e. Isometric and Flexibility Conditioning.

And Oh, don’t forget to place your pre-orders for Lumberjack Lodestone Fitness while you’re at.

Back soon!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee