Real men dont cry?

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Growing up, with the kinda shitty upbringing I had – kinda?? – I used to … uh, CRY a lot.

And in situations you wouldn’t expect, not because I was scared, or nervous, but just ANGRY as fuck – frustrated as hell – and didnt know how to let it out.

In a fight with the school bully which I Was reminded of years later when seeing another guy I went to school with in a bar (well, more a cafe sort of thing) in 2008 after taking the “then to be wife” out on her first date (I also remember her saying she’d slap a man who drank in front of her, yet, she was fine with the chicken wings she was eating the first time, and yours truly who drank 4 Fosters – hehe – women!) …

… she did slap my ass away when I groped her ass in the movie theater though- so I guess it wasn’t all false.

The things I’ve done in movie theaters, from accidentally using a women’s bathroom (ok, admittedly the signs were shit and in Chinese, but..) to … ah, but this ain’t about me.

Its about “do real men cry”

At the age of 14 I remember Dad telling me “and dont cry. You’re a man. Men dont cry”.

Fuck.

Out of all the most useless pieces of advice my father gave me, that was right up there with being the most fuckin idiotic.

Not to mention, if he’d have known his son, he was crying out of frustration he wasnt’ even allowed to let out physically, when he was, he was ridiculed, man, those thangs take a toll on kids.

Some have asked if this is my (as of late, the sort of emails going out which really hit home) “come to Jesus” moment or what – nah, it aint.

I am still very much aethist and believe in the Universe,nuttin else, but anyway – I remember my buddy from the Marines, 20 plus years of service, been there, done that, shot more motherfuckers than he cares to remember, buddies getting blown up and shit (and burnt) – and stuff, and the last time we drank beer together in 2019 …

Well, he was crying.

Going through a tough time, I was – but not in the manner you’d suspect, but I believe so was he.

And I still remember him crying, which was OK – fine. Hey, I’ve done it several times, mostly privately, but often publicly too – to be shamed.

Next day, my bud called me and apologized.

“I’m sorry. Real men dont cry like that”.

What the fuck, man, I went.

They do all the time.

I’ve done it all the fuckin time – and the last time I remember doing it with a friend Ricky (no longer a friend tho) ” thats a real man”, I remember him saying.

Not because of the tears, but the fuckin emotion, man.

Lots of folks say its women that are emotional, men are the opposite.

Thats bullshit.

I remember getting emotional and drunk (not to the point of losing all control, but pretty drunk) at an office get-together in Oman once, that was in 2012 I think? Not sure, I was crying, and the so called real men in there all got pissed, and the wife was until the next day too.

What the fuck again.

Letting emotions out honestly ain’t a bad thing.

Being ashamed of doing so is stupid.

Reality is, and you look at Mother Nature and the way animals are as well (which we are at the end of the day), the MEN have emotions, feelings.

Women merely monkey branch onto the next available cash cow – which is called hypergamy.

Nah, this ain’t a MGTOW treatise.

I’m not completely this or that, or Mgtow.

I AM an expert on combating Nazi feminism and benefitin from it, but that ain’t the POINT either.

The point is, men have emotions, plenty of ’em.

We just reserve them (real men) for the right people and right times.

I’m told I’m a selfish uncaring bastard by many.

Maybe upfront.

But while watching the movie “The Enforcer” which I picked randomly (and the rain started right after it ended, how prosaic) – an Antonio Banderas movie (I didnt even know it had him) which was entirely unexceptional and yawn for the most part – Banderas has some pretty good scenes with his estranged daughter which more than tugged at my heartstrings.

I still remember a former friend Charles once talking about me in China, hardly ever seeing my little girl.

“I dont want you ending up like that years later, man”

Hmm, sometimes life happens, now I dont aim at that sort of thang happening for me, but who knows…

But my point again, emotion.

The Stallone movie Get Carter, I watched it for Sly, movie again was nothing special, the original Michael Caine flick was better, grittier.

But Sly’s scenes with his niece are gems – especially the one on the terrace.

I dont know – maybe I’m biased.

But I first saw that damn Sly movie when I had to leave my then girlfriend back Stateside, move to India and such (dont ask, long fuckin story again) – she’s no longer with us, in the heavenly above as it were, with her favorite “sunflowers” (no doubt, no pun) …

… and the dialog “if I’d been here, this never woulda happened”.

It hit home even then in 2002, long before I met my wife, got married, or even thought about having a daughter.

Couple of years later I’d tell my boss Jim with his family in the office … (he was saying “well, when you get married, Rahul”)

Oh, I’m NOT getting married, I said with a sense of finality to which he just shrugged and grinned, so did his wife.

My, how times change, how we change eh.

I’ve changed over the years in some regards.

For the most part I’m still the beer swilling fuck I was in college – hehe.

Some things never change.

But I learned a lot along the way, and therefore I teach it.

Fitness wise, the 0 Excuses Fitness System was built on a lot of things, but emotion is #1.

Its there in all I do …

And that’s that friend.